Mom Rants

It’s day 2 of my vacation. Here’s where I’m at with regards to meeting my “vacation goals:”

– Have not dried hair yet.  I forgot how humid Florida is.
– Going to attempt to go to yoga this morning if my son decides to take a morning nap.
– Bought new bathing suit.  Have not worn outside of bedroom yet.
– Have changed two diapers so far.  One nasty one.

Here’s to me doing a downward dog …


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It’s that time of year.  You know, when everyone at work goes to sit-down lunches and when you can actually get to work in the amount of time MapQuest tells you it will take. It’s vacation time!

But for us moms (ok, me), “vacation” in its truest form doesn’t really exist.  Even if I take time off of work and go somewhere warm.  I have a tough time relaxing anywhere, anyhow.  Even on my “days off” from work, I find myself more exhausted than when I am in the office for 10 hours  because I am running around doing stuff.

That’s why this year I’m taking my son to visit his grandparents for “vacation.” We’re packing up the kid and heading to Florida and letting grandpa and step-grandma pitch in on the childcare. 

I believe this arrangement will maximize my chances for relaxation and make me feel like I’m on vacation.  But being my type A self, I can’t totally break away from reality.  So I’ve decided to set some goals for myself during my trip:

– Read the book I’ve been trying to finish for the past 6 months
– Workout at least 3 times (that would be more than I have in the last 6 months)
– Dry my hair nicely every time I wash it (key word here is nicely, not dry)
– Wear a bathing suit if it’s warm enough (this is after day 3 of working out, of course)
– Not change my son’s diaper for one whole day
– Finish building my new blog site (details forthcoming after the new year)

I think these can be accomplished with the right amount of dilligence and strategy.  All play and no work can make mom a dull woman!

Happy Holidays.

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I’m bringing my son to the office tomorrow to meet my coworkers – so why am I so excited? I feel like a little schoolgirl who’s bringing in her favorite doll for show and tell.

I think it’s because when you work and then get pregnant and then basically disappear for a few months on maternity leave, you want everyone to know what you got for being out so long.  You want to validate the reason you only came back part-time to work, or why you leave work at 5 on the dot.

By bringing your kid into work, you can show your coworkers how cute he is, and how you care about that little dude more than anything else in the world.

Kind of like the little doll you used to carry around with you everywhere when you were little.

The New York Times ran another article on Sunday regarding the dearth of women bosses in Fortune 500 companies.  The article covered familiar ground- lack of visible women corporate leaders, lack of women on company boards, women trying to balance work and family, etc.

So what’s my beef? I’m glad the NYT is keeping the discussion going of the inequities in the workplace between women and men.  But what I’m not seeing a lot of are stories about working moms like ME. Where are the stories of those in the middle of the management heap?  The regular “moms” trying to get ahead?

Come on reporters- play to the masses! Give us something to relate to!

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The New York Times today covers the rising trend of “mom lit” – that genre of literature that used to be chick lit, now all grown up with babies and strollers.  Apparently, the term is causing quite a ruckus in the writing world.  Jennifer Weiner, the writer of “In Her Shoes,” “resents that women writing domestic dramas are categorized in ways male writers aren’t.” 

Mommy blogger Heather B. Armstrong of thinks that mom lit “reads like someone sat around in a marketing meeting and said, ‘What can we sell to this generation of mothers?”

My question is, so what?  So what if some of the mommy lit out there isn’t going to win a Pulitzer Prize? I like that when I write I can be light and fluffy – it makes all the craziness of being a mom a little more funny, a little easier to handle.  And seriously, moms out there, who really wants or can read a dense novel right after you have baby? I couldn’t. 

And why can’t “mommy lit” encompass the serious and the light?  I bet there is room in the genre and for the buyers (key here for a writer) for both.  So for those moms who write in this genre and want to fight for equal treatment, great.  But I think having that mommy voice at all, fluffy or not, is a great achievement in and of itself.

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I have a dilemma.  Next week, my company is hosting a “kids” holiday party, fit with a live Santa and all things holiday-related. But there is a problem.  I hate the holiday season.  I’ve always hated the holiday season.  You can’t get any of your normal activities done with relative ease, and the mus-aack is way to cheery for me.  I’m don’t even celebrate Christmas for crying out loud! Bah Humbug.

There are plenty of secular Jews out there who decorate a tree and pretend that Christmas is their holiday too.  Not this one.  Call me Scrooge, but I don’t want my son celebrating Christmas.  I don’t want silly photos of him on Santa’s lap – they’ll just end up at the bottom of our junk drawer.  I don’t want him to leave cookies out for Santa on Christmas eve – I’ll just end up eating them.  I don’t want him opening presents on Christmas Day – he’ll get plenty of stuff for Hannukah. 

So this is my plan of attack: I’m going to avoid clueing him into Christmas at all costs until he’s old enough to figure it out himself.  This means: no photos, no holiday outfits, no cheesy songs.  No Christmas.

I may sound like Mrs. Grinch, but I think this approach is better than me having to tell him in 10 years that Santa doesn’t really exist.  Bah Humbug.

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My friend tipped me off to the next offender in a series of companies that sell to parents with unwise marketing-speak. The company is the maker of many allergy, flu and cold remedies – Triaminic.  But this one is so blatantly obvious that I think it may take the cake of unwise marketing.  Apparently, Triaminic seems to think that moms are in charge of the medicinal needs of their children.  Come on, their tag line “The Medicine of Motherhood,” says so.

Even the sickly sweet cartoon of a baby elephant latching onto its mom on the front page of their website shows who they think runs the snotty nose and watery eye show in the house.  To their little credit, they do try to make a case for EEOP (that’s Exaggerated-attempt to Equal Opportunity Parent) on the same page.  As seen in the “For Parents” section of the site:  

“Moms and Dads can explore the Parents’ area to access useful information to help you care for your family. Get in touch with a Triaminic® expert in the Triaminic Clinic® to learn more about special offers and events.”

That is not enough to please this mom.  ‘Scuse me while I decongest myself. 

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