I’m intrigued by a comment a reader made on my blog post regarding Katie Couric’s mom “struggles.”  She said how she believes that motherhood (working motherhood specifically) is the big fat equalizer – rich or poor, celebrity or not- of all women. 

I can’t stop thinking about it ever since.  Actually, it really hit home yesterday when I spent the morning working at home while my nanny was taking care of my son.  As I blogged before, my nanny is pregnant, and about to become a working mom of her own. 

She is very excited to have her baby, but she will face a whole different set of challenges that I did when I had my son.  First and foremost, she will be leaving her child in day care so that she can take care of MY child.  This alone near kills me.  She’s spending her days helping to raise someone else’s kid instead of her own.  Also, she is not married, and while her boyfriend seems supportive, he lives in a different city and they have no plans to live in Chicago together at the moment.  So while her family will play a huge role in raising her child, she’s entering motherhood virtually alone.

This does not seem equal to me.  My biggest worries are whether or not my son is napping well, whether or not I have to take a conference call on my days off, and if can I somehow get to the gym on an odd hour off.  Not, how will I pay for my child’s well-being? Or, will the child’s father play an active role?  I work because I like to work and need the adult stimulation, not because my child’s survival depends on it.  Not the same for my nanny.

So sure, put me in a room with Gwenyth Paltrow and I’m sure we can discuss at length the trivial things our children do.  But, put me in a room with my nanny when she becomes a mom – and I can bet it’s not the same conversation.  It just doesn’t seem equal anymore, does it?